There are times that I feel like I don’t want to do another thing. All the ambition that propelled me in my past season seems dead and I idly sit wondering if I will ever sail forward again. There are times I feel very weary and need to rest. In these hours it is important to stop and seek the Lord.
Like you, I have had many prophetic words given to me in my life, and I have had many prophetic dreams. Many times people have prophesied things over me or I have seen things in the spirit which I know I will be a part of and will come to pass. But then the time between that word and its fulfillment can be a long time ,which might leave you wondering if these words really originated with God or whether they were the conjuring’s of your mind or someone else’s mind.
I sometimes feel despair because although I have been pushing into Christ and his thoughts for my life the things that he has spoken to me just don’t seem to quickly come to pass. Indeed, I have accomplished so much, but sometimes it can seem that the promises I have received are far too great for me to inherit and I am overwhelmed by it. In these moments I understand some of the pain that Joseph must have had when he sat in prison after he interpreted the dreams of the baker and the cup bearer. Two more years he sat; rotting and wondering when that grand dream he had as a teenager would come to pass. One day would bleed into the next; but the dream (that perhaps he wished would just disappear), grew more intense in his heart. Yet he still remained in the dark dungeon.
There is nothing that you can do to advance yourself. God opens the doors that no one else can open and he shuts the doors that can’t be re-opened (Isaiah 22:22). I have lived in the frustration of this. In fact, right now I carry a vision for stadiums to be filled with people. God placed that vision in my heart, but I have no idea how to advance that vision. It is here inside of me, haunting me. There are times that I fear that someone else will be given that task instead. I fear that he will take away from me what he spoke to me would happen. This becomes the area that I need consecration in. I have heard people say that words and visions are merely potential realities that you may enter into but they are not absolute realities. This thought puts the fear of God into me. In every way I wish to please my God, but I know that I have no ability on my own to make a prophetic word happen. Without the wisdom and guidance of the Holy Spirit, there is no way for me to please God. So if God doesn’t lead me into the word, then it won’t happen. It is by his grace that I am saved and it is by his grace that I enter into the works that he has prepared for me.
The parts of me that wrestle with fear that God might not give me the good gifts that he has promised are the areas that need to be purged from my life. I have learned that fear is like a prison; and it is in there that God will often deal with the parts of our old nature that don’t line up with him. You and I may feel like paupers, prisoners or beggars. and that is alright. You are much like many of the characters that were used mightily in the Bible. He takes the poor and needy and places them in places of great power (1 Samuel 2:8). 1 Corinthians 1:26 says, “Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth.” If you feel that way, you are in good company.
You have to seek God with all you heart. He will open the way before you. He will lead you by the way of consecration and repentance. As your thoughts are renewed by the blood of the Lamb, you will become new and ready for the service that God has for you. Again, the Key is consecration and repentance: to turn from the old into the new. In a recent dream, I was in a shoe store located in heaven. There were so many beautiful shoes in that store that it was hard to make a choice! These were the nicest shoes I had seen in my life. An angel walked up to me and told me that I should wait for a pair of shoes that would be coming by the end of the month. I knew that these shoes would be amazing, but there were another pair that I bought in the interim. They were plain black shoes, and cost only $38, and yet they were very comfortable.
Now this detail might not mean very much to you, but I understood two things. First, from this dream, I have an expectation that come the end of the month, new things will start to happen. There is coming a change of seasons. New shoes represent to me a new day, or new thoughts, to walk through the doors that God has instore. Secondly, the $38 black boot is a sign of the need for repentance and consecration in order to enter into a new season. The number 38 is associated with consecration, and black to me represents the old nature and mourning. God wants to give us the oil of joy for mourning and this comes from a heart that is completely sold out to him.
I have learned that every time I move toward the new, that God has to work on some of the conditions of my old nature. In fact God daily works on our lives so that we become more and more free (Romans 12:2). It is for freedom that you have been set free (Galatians 5:1). However, when God’s freedom works in your heart, it brings you to a place of greater clarity, so that you can hear his voice and respond to it without fear or hesitation. The freer from the world I become, the more I am able to respond to the voice of God that prompts me into the works t he has prepared beforehand for me to do in Christ (Ephesians 2:10).
Consecration and repentance leads us to take on God’s thoughts for our lives. These thoughts are the new shoes that will carry us in the next season. My deepest prayer for you, is that you will be brave and turn to the Lord with all your heart. I know he has great things in store for you. It is his promise. He will change your every morning to make it blessed. Even through trials and anxieties, he will be the friend that sticks closer than a brother (Proverbs 18:24).
As we are freed from the old, and walk in the new, the bars come down in our prisons and we come to the place where we can enter into prophetic fulfillment in our lives. So perhaps what is keeping you and I from entering, is a new thought - that we heal a fear from a previous season. That fear may be what is holding you back. So seek God for healing today, and he will come. He gives good gifts to his children and healing is the children’s bread. Get ready for your new shoes and your new day.